This isn’t the first time I considered this scenario. 

More than a year ago, we went river rafting with my gf and bestfriend in Cagayan de Oro City. Sa river rafting, hindi talaga maiwasan na hindi ka mahulog sa tubig. So ayun, nahulog kami and stuff. We were normal. Then about 2 weeks later, my bestfriend had Leptospirosis. He was admitted in the ICU for about 2 months and we really thought na mamamatay na siya. 

I’m not prepared to lose a friend, not even a best friend for that matter. When I visited him, I couldn’t help but cry kasi he looks like my great-grandfather when he was admitted in the ICU for the last time; dozens of tubes all over his body and he’s only breathing to a respirator. When I saw my bestfriend in that state, I felt that I was going to lose him. Then a miracle happened and his health improved. Thank God he survived. 

Things will never be the same if he had died. Siguro mababaliw ako, madedepressed nanaman, I’ll go back to being anti-social, and be forever haunted by that experience.

I hope I will never have to experience that.